Tag Archives: Insecurities

The epiphany

You know that feeling you get when you look at someone who is so unquestionably  perfect in every conceivable way, that all your imperfections suddenly seem embarrassingly blatant? That why is the world so unfair/ why does the universe hate me/ FML feeling? Well, I was acquainted with that feeling a little while ago and I can assure you, there is nothing worse. I’m sorry for the lack of eloquence, but there is no better way to explain this terrible feeling than to say that IT SUCKS. But it also puts several things into perspective.

I would describe myself as an overtly ambitious yet hazardously lethargic person. What I lack in drive I make up for in a relentless commitment to my intent. “But just wanting something isn’t enough. Working towards your goal is key,” I have been told this repeatedly, by parents, by teachers, by over enthu neighbor aunties who can’t mind their own  business, and it isn’t that I’m in denial, I know it’s true and yet  I continue being my couch potato self.


Procrastination and I have a love hate relationship. While some of my greatest achievements have been a fruit of my inherent passivity, the downside is that it gets in the way of me being the best I can be. One home truth about procrastination is that it is nearly impossible to beat. Nearly. Yet you always meet that one person who is able to balance life so effortlessly. That one individual who does EVERYTHING right.While you wait till thursday to submit your report due on friday, little miss perfect submitted hers on tuesday and has already started working on the paper you were meant to hand in at the end of the semester; while you toil away at 3 in the morning, desperately trying to retain at least a fraction of the chapter in psychology you were expected to learn for a test, shes fast asleep with her alarm set for 6, leaving her with a comfy half hour for a quick revision. Somehow, they also have far more active social lives than you do. Despite the fact that they are studying for their SAT’s, CLAT, IIT JEE, NATA and every other possible entrance exam the world of academia has to offer, there is not one party they don’t attend.


Now, I know how annoying it is to live on the same planet, let alone, actually associate with these people on a daily basis, but an undeniable truth that we all choose to ignore is that there will always be people who are better than us, and they, like everything else that is a part of our lives, exist for a reason. Instead of incessant and unnecessary mental comparisons that not only bruise one’s ego but also invite that little green monster we all hate so much, we need to be able to see them, not as a threat but as motivation for us to stop shamming and put in the hours and the hard work we know we need to. We also need to be able to accept ourselves for what we are and work on our flaws and inhibitions not because we want to be better than everyone else but because we want to be the best we can possibly be. So stop worrying and just be da bawse.


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