Category Archives: Strength

Now that you’re 18

As adulthood stares me right in the eye, I look back at the many, MANY irrational, unreasonable and downright moronic decisions I have made in the past and wonder….WHAT THE  F*CK WAS I THINKING?

All the times I pretended to be someone I wasn’t just to be accepted; all the times I acted rashly, thinking I was doing the right thing; all the times I played to the gallery’s and chased the impossible ideal of “fitting in” rather than embracing my inherent weirdness that later helped me meet some of the best people I know; all the times I hurled myself at boys who showed the least bit of interest in me just because I was in love with the idea of being in love; blindly following fads that went against the sanctity of fashion (the “kareena” dress I forced my mother to buy me for my ninth birthday); all the tears shed over my B cups when most of my friends sported 34 C’s; the fights, the tantrums; I look back at all the things I thought were so phenomenally important when they happened, and now rarely cross my mind and I feel an odd sense of accomplishment. Accomplishment suffused with huge amounts of embarrassment of course, but accomplishment all the same.

I messed up, but I also dealt with my mistakes, and moved on with life. As i grew older I learned how to accept myself, flaws and all. I became a better judge of character, a better friend, a better daughter. I know I’m not the best I can be, but I’m proud of who I am, who I’ve become. I know my eighteenth birthday will just be another candle on my cake, I don’t expect some crazy transformation and maturity to come with it, but I hope that as I grow older, I get to know myself better, and love and respect myself for who I am and not for who I feel I should be. Instead of regretting the many mistakes I’v made, I hope I begin to look at them as opportunities to grow.

As I stand on the cusp of adulthood, I hope I stay true to who I am.

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An open letter to me in ten years.

Hello sexy,

You’re 27…..well, physically.
Mentally, you’re probably about 12 by now, so congratulations.
I’m hoping you’re either writing for a magazine or you’ve authored your own book, maybe you’ve been working in production or advertising. Whatever you’re doing, I’m hoping you’re happy. If you’re not, stop immediately and take time off. Travel, shop, do what you love and try and figure out what makes you happy, then turn that into a career and you’re set.

Take a stand.
If you believe in something with all your heart, listen to what everyone else has to say and then do what it takes to get your point across. Have an opinion on everything. Whoever said being opinionated was a bad thing, hasn’t ever felt the satisfaction of winning an argument.

Listen. Actually listen to what other people have to say, even if you don’t agree with them. Be sensitive to their beliefs even if they’re leagues away from your own. Listening builds trust. Trust builds character. Be a shoulder to cry on, somebody’s go to person, a great best friend, a wonderful daughter.

Be kind. Talk to the kid incessantly knocking on your car window, begging for spare change when you’re stuck in traffic. Realize he’s only a victim of circumstance. Smile a lot. regardless of how creepy smiling at strangers may seem, you know from personal experience how reassuring and wonderful a smile can be.

Be grateful. I hope you realize how truly blessed you are. You have so much going for you, a great family, brilliant friends, hopefully a reasonably satisfying work life. Be thankful for all the wonderful people in your life, and try not to take them for granted.

Love. don’t shy away from commitment like you have in the past. I’m hoping you dropped that habit and magically manifested into this suave, passionate love guru the second you turned eighteen, but even if you haven’t, work on it now.

DONT SETTLE. whether it’s your career, your love life, or the Céline handbag you’ve always wanted, don’t settle for anything but the best. If it’s your career, give it everything you have. If its the bag, work your butt off till you can get your hands on that beautiful baby. If it’s love, remember to trust your gut.
It’s okay to be picky. Look for a man who shares the same values, believes in the same things, is responsible and mature when he has to be and makes you laugh when all you want to do is cry. It might take you years to find him but don’t give up, he’s out there.

(Ew this is starting to get lame.)

love yourself. You need to accept yourself for who you are. You’re not perfect. Who is? There are people out there who are prettier than you, more competent than you, funnier than you, but there’s just one you. Nobody can do a better job at being you than you.

Take chances, be outspoken, be brave.

Stay cool.

Love always,
You.

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The epiphany

You know that feeling you get when you look at someone who is so unquestionably  perfect in every conceivable way, that all your imperfections suddenly seem embarrassingly blatant? That why is the world so unfair/ why does the universe hate me/ FML feeling? Well, I was acquainted with that feeling a little while ago and I can assure you, there is nothing worse. I’m sorry for the lack of eloquence, but there is no better way to explain this terrible feeling than to say that IT SUCKS. But it also puts several things into perspective.

I would describe myself as an overtly ambitious yet hazardously lethargic person. What I lack in drive I make up for in a relentless commitment to my intent. “But just wanting something isn’t enough. Working towards your goal is key,” I have been told this repeatedly, by parents, by teachers, by over enthu neighbor aunties who can’t mind their own  business, and it isn’t that I’m in denial, I know it’s true and yet  I continue being my couch potato self.

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Procrastination and I have a love hate relationship. While some of my greatest achievements have been a fruit of my inherent passivity, the downside is that it gets in the way of me being the best I can be. One home truth about procrastination is that it is nearly impossible to beat. Nearly. Yet you always meet that one person who is able to balance life so effortlessly. That one individual who does EVERYTHING right.While you wait till thursday to submit your report due on friday, little miss perfect submitted hers on tuesday and has already started working on the paper you were meant to hand in at the end of the semester; while you toil away at 3 in the morning, desperately trying to retain at least a fraction of the chapter in psychology you were expected to learn for a test, shes fast asleep with her alarm set for 6, leaving her with a comfy half hour for a quick revision. Somehow, they also have far more active social lives than you do. Despite the fact that they are studying for their SAT’s, CLAT, IIT JEE, NATA and every other possible entrance exam the world of academia has to offer, there is not one party they don’t attend.

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Now, I know how annoying it is to live on the same planet, let alone, actually associate with these people on a daily basis, but an undeniable truth that we all choose to ignore is that there will always be people who are better than us, and they, like everything else that is a part of our lives, exist for a reason. Instead of incessant and unnecessary mental comparisons that not only bruise one’s ego but also invite that little green monster we all hate so much, we need to be able to see them, not as a threat but as motivation for us to stop shamming and put in the hours and the hard work we know we need to. We also need to be able to accept ourselves for what we are and work on our flaws and inhibitions not because we want to be better than everyone else but because we want to be the best we can possibly be. So stop worrying and just be da bawse.

likeaboss

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